1 month ago
Sleep Talkin' Man «
“My mild-manner English husband Adam lives quite a colorful existence in his dreams. Having benefited from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings, I found it only fair to share them with the world.”
Some typical excerpts from this hilarious blog (and please, please don’t miss the audio samples on the left-hand side):
January 15, 2010
“Can you hold… can you hold my starfish? It doesn’t like it when I’m getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py.”
“Hey, don’t… don’t say anything. Why don’t you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure.”
“I feel all rolley polley rolley polley. rolley pony PONY…. Splat!”
January 11, 2010
“Your mum’s at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep.”
“Yeah, keep looking. It doesn’t get any better than this.”
“Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I’m telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination.”
“You’re pretty. pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty…. [long pause] Now fuck off and be pretty somewhere else. I’m bored.”
[hand tangled in my hair, massaging my scalp] “I’m stuck. I’m stuck. Your pubes! You got to shave.”
“Butter… nut… squash. I like those words.”
8 months ago
Rule-34 on Tumblr «
“If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.” -Rules of the Internet
Follow for NSFW choking fun, as the internet proves over and over again that it is full of sick, sick people. (Seriously, I mean it: swine flu porn.)
9 months ago
a big step
The Blog and me just took a big step in our relationship today. We bought a domain name together, I set it up, and now we are officially jenwondering[dot]com. Soon we’ll be planning long weekends away with each other and having dim sum with my parents.
That last part is a joke. I would never want my parents to know of my scandalous internet doings.
9 months ago
This business is getting a little hilarious and creepy as fuck. At least the last one could pretend to not be skeezey?
10 months ago
I understand that my sense of humor is slightly warped at 4 in the morning, but seriously guys. It just… It just can’t get any better than this.
For maximized awesome factor, please gather a group of friends and read out loud.
via jyi
10 months ago
I stopped watching America’s Next Top Model quite a while ago (because Tyra Banks’ sanity seems to dip with each cycle) but one of the remaining contestants in the current cycle excites me very much (in a non-pervy way) Allison Harvard is Creepy-chan, a fleeting meme from 4chan named for her freakishly blank photos online. Google results for Creepy-chan confirms my suspicions, which, frankly, creeps me out even more. I know this isn’t a big deal, but it scares me out that not everyone on /b/ lives in their mother’s basement (because some of those people are sick!).
10 months ago
happy star wars day!
May the 4th be with you!
[Edit: I am so, so sorry. I was just, just so cracked from all the work. I would never post something like this when I’m OK. Again, sorry.]
10 months ago
Kermit Bale «
Christian Bale and Kermit the Frog have a disturbing amount of things in common, as shown by this photographic evidence.
10 months ago
At first I thought this was spam, but I replied to the email anyway just for the LOLs. Well, now that I know there is a real person behind the email, I’m a little freaked out.
Does this happen often, and should I start sleeping with knives and extra pairs of underwear?
what i seem to me
I was recently trolled by the infamous Unfollow Friday. Strangely enough, this has increased my readership. To be honest I don’t really care about being flamed or the increase in readership, but this incident has gotten me thinking about the creation of my image.
I started this blog as part of a New Year’s resolution to write more for myself. I never wanted to turn it into anything huge because I wanted to push original content, mostly reflections about my life. And while I never went through an era of crippling low self-esteem, I have also never pictured myself as the most interesting or special person in the world. Thus, forcing myself to write daily was somewhat of a challenge.
In some ways this blog has become one of the most honest things I’ve ever done. Because I initially kept it private from all of my friends, I found I could write about everything I was going through with little censorship. However, I did restrict myself in certain aspects in an unconscious attempt to create an image of someone likable. I didn’t censor myself, per se, but I refrained from giving in to every urge to post something stupid every other second and from exposing the most private details of my life. Somehow I figured this would cheapen the rest of my other posts, the ones that I spent time on and actually tried to make worth reading.
I’m not sure why I cared so much about this, or at all. I never wrote to an audience, so I could have been as obnoxious and spur-of-the-moment as I’d wanted. Still, it came to me after contemplation that I cared not because I wanted other people to like me, but that I wanted me to like me, years from now, when I look back in retrospect at my 18 year old self. I want to look back and see how I’ve matured into an adult, not how I’ve transformed from idiot to less-idiotic.
In any case, what I seem to be is just an image that I’m projecting from myself, to myself. I don’t care about readership, or about what others really think. Narcissistic as it seems, as long as I like me, it’s all good.
